While on a cab going home, while my officemates and I brave the morning traffic in Katipunan, we talked about what time my sister goes to work and then my Mom. Dad has been driving them on and off everyday and in two different travels. My officemate said your Dad seems to be working as well. I just nodded and the cab driver butted in, "Nakakapagod yun! Ilang taon na ba tatay mo?" I said 61 and he said, "Dapat sa edad na yun nagpapahinga na lang siya!" I wanted to agree but just said, "Ayaw niyang nagpapahinga eh. Gusto nyang hinahatid nya kami pa rati." Of course I was ashamed. Back then I don't seem to understand but yes, it's that simple, my Dad chose to be of service to us and lately that is why I'm defending him when my sis and Mom gets a short fuse. It would be a forever question for us why he chose to remain that way since he returned. The last reply I got from him was it's because when he returned he's retirable. And yep, now that I'm looking back it was really hard to look for work for him that time. And somehow, we are his tormentors that is why he chose to suspend his life. This is my note to self in case someone needs explanation.

Whenever I reflect on this it really humbles me and at times it occurs to me, for a life to happen, another life should wait or entirely cease to exist. The latter is extreme I know but at times it's a simple situation like when starting a family or having a relationship. Then again, there's free will. It's always a choice and then we have our different choices and so our priorities. That is why in this world, there are a lot of misunderstandings unless we try to be open.

Thank God for this. I'm so happy. Till next year!

 It was at the last minute that I decided to join. Last year I already joined Body Combat marathon for Team Trinoma for the Individual category. It was Trinoma's first time to join the contest and it's a baptism of fire for all of us. We told ourselves that next year will be better and improved; with all the works, committees and improved members. When I started working night shift I stopped working out and begged off from joining this year's tribe. I convinced my sister in joining instead and she successfully became a member of the tribe. I really got excited and helped her develop her form for the competition. While I was in the sidelines, I challenged myself with my present condition: once a week workout with not much form compare to my last year's well-fit and toned body (and everything, well the picture says it all). This time, a new breed of members coming from different clubs and joined Trinoma. We were fortunate to have them because come the competition, Trinoma was really kicking butt! Though the jury (mostly FF instructors) is quite leaning onto some favorites, we are convinced that we did our best this time and the muay thai costume is an original idea of the team and not a mere copycat (excuse my French). I am very happy and always be proud to be a member of the Trinoma club and yes, next year, I will be back. This time for the Body Jam marathon!

Here is a link of the video for your viewing pleasure. 

It's just this morning that I had my walk once again with the sunshine greeting me. Halfway it suddenly rained a little bit but it's okay because this will never ruin my new day. And I just realized it's already Friday! So I'm anticipating tomorrow's event. I'm going to join the Open Category of this year's Body Combat Muay Thai marathon.

And I thought of you while actually walking down the street. I know you're still asleep. I just remembered when you told me you are actually lucky you have me. I do remembered I told you that just because I really am not sure anymore if I have still someone out there and then you just came. Would you believe it will be another year of our Christmas together? I can't wait.

It's enough that when I look at you, we understand each other very well. No need for so many words and yet I feel that we really have known each other even for just a little while. It's sweet when I woke up seeing you sleeping soundly beside me, you look peaceful and I hugged you. You didn't nudge and I looked at your lips and it was perfect. I wanted to kiss you but I didn't want to destroy the perfect picture of you sleeping. When you opened your eyes, I smiled and breakfast is already ready. The world seemed perfect and the sky is so blue, away from everyone, away from the problems. When I held your hands, they were soft and perfect and I wanted to kiss it but managed just to hold it gently so I can just feel it against mine. I wish this will last and my memories be forever in mine so when I look back, I can just smile and think again when you and I only know of this.

I don't want to panic but it's true, the forecasts have said that next year would not be as productive as before and thus a lot of people will be affected in our company. Fingers crossed we can cross the rough roads and still be in one piece.

Before it seems so hard to believe that you let yourself be a meantime person. In human terms, you are a constant companion or a better word, confidante. But it's not your fault because you felt more than what is required from you. Well, a little bit I guess. She said she likes you and she wanted to be friends with you. She is comfortable around you and she feels that she can share everything with you. But you took it in a different note and thought you are someone really special for her. Did you tell your feelings? Yes you did and she just said, I don't want to lose what we have right now. So how long will this last? You couldn't let go because like you said, you are happy as long as she is happy. BUT did she return your feelings? Not that we should expect from her but at least investing your emotions is really in their best interest.

Suddenly you find yourself in a picture where you feel that she was dense. It was all too obvious, needless to say, you really like her. But she just did not feel the same.

Yep. It will take time to figure things out. You have to acknowledge it. Deny it at first but you have to accept the fact that it was partly your fault. Sorry, no pacing there. But usually, it WILL take time, probably years. But hear this, it will make you stronger, it will build your character, it will be your leverage for you to survive; at least for the part of human relations and emotions.

No, do not blame it to your thinking that you believed in destiny. It's normal. Try to take a walk or sip a coffee slowly, it will give you a clearer view.